We were in the middle of a marriage counseling session, Matt and I. We were counseling a couple just newly wed and, as always because our little ones are still so little, our three year old and one year old were running around, playing with toy trucks and cars, knocking over block towers. We tried to set up a show for them in Levi’s room to keep things quieter, but he didn’t want to miss out on the counseling session so he continued to cry and run out to “mama.” Eventually, I had to leave the counseling session and shut myself in my daughter’s bedroom with my two little ones. They began to fight over a toy and, pretty soon, all three of us were crying – their cries were piercing, mine silent.
Father, why?! If these kids would just cooperate, I could do so much more ministry! If we were still in our younger, childless days, Matt and I could do so much more ministry together!
As I write this, I am currently sitting in a parking lot with my sleeping one year old who started the morning throwing up. I came on one of my infamous “sick coffee run drives” in hopes that Levi would get some much needed rest and I could get some much needed (okay, desired) coffee.
I’m not supposed to be sitting in this parking lot right now. I’m supposed to be at our church’s Vacation Bible School program, where I’ve been leading a group of 4th-6th graders all week, pouring into their lives, helping them to learn and memorize Scripture, and pointing them to Jesus.
Instead, here I sit.
Is it all meaningless? Am I sitting here missing out on ministry opportunities because I’m forced to be home with my sick child? Am I not living out my full potential because, since having children, I’ve had to step back from so much ministry both inside and outside the Church? Because I’m no longer bringing in any sort of income to help support our growing family? Because my days are mostly spent feeding, cleaning, changing, and chasing two children three and under?
Tears are springing to my eyes like they were that evening in my daughter’s room because I know the answer to this and yet I fear my deceptive, emotional heart turns my mind in a different direction some days.
I know the truth: this is my ministry and it is a great and wonderful blessing. This is me living out what God has called me to. I am not missing out on anything He may be asking me to do that I’m not doing because He’s given me these children to disciple and love. It is a truth, that when planted in my heart, feels like a balm, feels like rest and freedom to enjoy these little ones God has given me to love.
But I could do so much more ministry…
But “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!“ (Psalm 127:3-5)
“But Jesus called them to him, saying, ‘Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God’. (Luke 18:16)
“But bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)
But “train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” (Titus 2:4-5)
Mama, this is our ministry. Not only is this a blessing, but it is a command. And not only is it a command, it is a blessing. This is the “so much more” that God has called us to. Don’t let the Deceiver deceive you. Don’t let your own heart trick you into believing the lies of our culture – that you’re missing out by being home, that you’re not living out your full potential because you gave up a promising career, that you’ll never amount to anything because you didn’t finish your degree.
Yes, serve the Church. Go out of your way to bless others. Evangelize to your neighbors. Invite people into your home to show them the love and hospitality of Jesus. Counsel. Disciple. Cook meals for those who are sick and those who just had new babies. Love on kids at VBS, in your church nursery, in your neighborhood.
But don’t neglect the most important thing, those precious little ones God has placed in your lap, in your hands, in your hearts. May we never see them as obstacles, as roadblocks to the “most important thing,” the “thing that we should be doing,” the “so much more that will actually, really fulfill us.”
Involve them in your ministry. Show them what it looks like, from a young age, to serve others, to put others ahead of yourself. Do this through filling their milk cup for the 100th time with joy. Through cleaning up their spilled milk cup for the 100th time with joy. Through changing another diaper, helping with another potty break, changing another puke stained sheet with joy.
Because this is what God has called us to today. This is the “so much more.” And I believe, dear sister, that it is the greatest calling, the greatest blessing, that we could have ever been given – because He has given it to us.
And praise God that He has.
Let’s steward it well. ❤️
Molly Ann Hilbert 
When I got into ministry, I was going to law school. I had dreams of litigating like Perry Mason or Matlock or whoever was on TV making it look great. I got my undergrad degree in ministry expecting law school would be next. I worked hard and graduated top of my class. But then law school proved too tough.
I went back to grad school for ministry, yet didn’t finish that. But I got into prison ministry, after care ministry, and eventually street ministry. It was a grand adventure. I have so many stories. I really want to bomb your comments with stories about confronting drug dealers and putting the fear of God in gang bangers. We stopped a murder just before it went down with a prayer service one night at midnight when the assailant bumped into us ministers as he was heading out to find his wife and her lover.
But even with those adventures which really got me excited, it was the children who flocked to us, even at midnight on the mean streets of Lubbock, Texas. Some of them in diapers. I was reaching out to hookers, addicts, pushers, ex-cons, and all kinds of dangerous people. But it was their kids that really responded!
Now I am buried in foster/adopted kids! Up to my neck in them. My house is overrun. Ceiling fans busted, broken windows, Crayola up and down the walls. Our home used to be NICE! But now we don’t have nice things.
And I never wanted kids. In fact, I shied away from them. I miss the streets. But I can’t go there anymore. Another run at law school is out of the question at my age. I’m toast.
And I love my kids. Its hard to imagine life without them. But I do.
But I signed on for ministry after I heard the preacher tell a story about some missionaries trying to enter a war-torn country through the blockade. It was back when missionaries funded themselves on one=way tickets to the mission field. They only had a couple days rations left, and the brothers sent their negotiator into the port to negotiate passage each day, staying behind to pray as they waited for him. Each day, they watched the rations dwindle, and each day, they committed to God.
Finally, the last day of rations came. If the negotiator couldn’t secure passage by sundown, they would have to return home and not be missionaries in this devastated nation. At the end of the day, the negotiator returned shouting, “I have good news, brothers. We can gain entry and share the Gospel with these people if only we sell ourselves as slaves!”
Guess that hooked me.
Now, I am glad Im not a slave! Or am I?
Not sure.
There is no Christ without a cross, and to serve him is to take one up and follow.
Those babies, though… they are LEGACY.
Have fun! When you get old, and especially after you are gone, they will tell your story. And it will last longer than you do.
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